Ah life.

We have been so lost in the chaos of what’s going on we just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to give up because I love my children, and I feel that if I give up they will hate me. But at the same time we have our other children to think about as well.



Little Man has been in foster care for almost 3 weeks, we have yet to see him. We turned in papers 3 weeks ago to have my parents foster him. They have yet to contact them, and they haven’t told us anything that’s going on. The repercussions of little man being out of “family” care are growing more each day. If we get him back, he will regress. We know this from past experience. He will regress into a blob of nothingness and we all suffer. Do we put ourselves and our other children through that? Is it selfish of us to think this way? I don’t know. Do we want to re teach everything we accomplished? I know I don’t want to. I don’t have the energy, the strength. If little man gets hurt down the line, and we get CPS on us again, do we allow them to torture our other children? I mean they took them without warrant, and absolutely traumatized them. I promised my daughter I would never let anything happen to her, How did I feel that night they took her? I was traumatized and still am. I’m afraid to leave my children. I just don’t know.


Bubba has been battling bronchiolitis and we told CPS this. It was court ordered for our children to be in daycare for 7 hours a day to help “socialize” them. We had to take Bubba to the ER and after four hours of him being poked swabbed and prodded we found out he has pneumonia. Pneumonia! None of our children have ever been that sick! It sickens me to think that CPS thinks they are doing what’s in the best interest of our children, but then subjects my child to other children who are probably sickly knowing full well that his immune system was already trying to fight off bronchiolitis. I just don’t know anymore.




Merebear wants to throw me a thank you mommy party. I have no clue where this idea came from, I have been really sick lately and I was soaking in a menthol bath when my 5 year old bursts in and announces she’s going to throw me a thank you party because I do so much for her and her brother and sister. Yeah.. That honestly made my day.

Happy Gobble Day.

I hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving and weekend. May you all be well, and find peace and happiness with family and friends.

This will be a short post... The whole lot of us has Brochiolitis. Not fun...Bubba and myself got the worst of it. Bubba has to have breathing treatments.

Our mini trip

On a funner note. Today we made a mini trip to a discovery place for children our ages unlike COSI which is more foccused now on older children. It was awesome. They had aquatics, which was fun because we got to manipulate water. They had a two story twisty slide that our children including my husband enjoyed. They had play houses, dress up, a general market with little shopping carts and play food. They had an indoor zoo, which was awesome. They had a pit with burried fossils you got to dig up, and the "sand" was recycled rubber from tires. It was a great day, and we all enjoyed every second of it. Here are som pictures.

Riley wondering were he should put the ball.

That was fun! and yes thats me.

Riley coming down a much smaller version of the two story slide.

                                                   

Daddy and the two girls.

                                                

I  just wanted to post the newest email from the distruntle mother in law. She has admitted to us several times that she did file the report even though CPS "can't" tell us.


Sent: Friday, November 13, 2009 9:31 AM



Subject: Re: The grandchildren


This is heart wrenching for everyone. I know both (J) and (V)love their kids. The only one in question was (H). We don't believe children should be removed from their home unless they are physically in danger. The family should be worked with from within and I told that to the agency and that Jon and Veronica needed parenting skills classes but the kids loved them. Even though you've not worked with agencies to know, you probably are aware that if there was not a problem they would have dropped this long ago. Counties don't want to spend unnecessary dollars on staff wages or foster care. They already have more than enough to do. They don't have the time or money to "target" anyone. When there is a report, first they determine if it is valid and go from there. They are only interested in the child who was reported unless they see other issues. And if ANY children were to be removed, it would only be that child. Common sense dictates there were issues of some kind or this would have been dropped long ago. (B) and I both talked about this numerous times before talking to the agency and both agreed it was what we had to do knowing if there was nothing to it, it would go no further. It was not a decision made easily or in a short period of time. Although they would never tell us, I was of the impression there had been other reports or at least more than the hospital's. We truly ache for (J)on, (V)eronica, the children, and all involved.
 
 
Note how she wrote children in "physical" harm. CPS has never claimed that, we are neglectful because of circumstances above our control ( We didn't get paid for 4 months because of the VA screwing up my husbands pay when he was retired.) And that our children are dependant.
 
Second, A mother does not do that to her son and his family. Third, SHE doesn't even know our family to make claims. She lied about things in her report, and got away with it. Like us locking little man in a room in her house at thanksgiving. My husband checked on him 4 times, the last of which our son had vomited all over himself because a certain someone was SHOVING, I mean litteraly shoving food into his mouth.
 
Another thing, They may not have the money, but they sure as heck have the time. CPS gets more money when they have children in foster care. I AM not saying all CPS is bad, some of it is good. But statistics don't lie, 1 out of every 17 children are actually abused and or neglected. Which is amazing odds.
 
Also, This lady who is of relation to us should not have been able to make a report about anything. I know so many family members who try to make a report about something going on and they don't do a darn thing. So obviously my disgruntled mother in law used her power (She was a foster parent, which in my eyes shouldn't have been.) or she made up an alias. If she did abuse her power to file a report, thats frightning as well. How many people do you think work for CPS, or have an affiliation with them who abuse their power to get back at people? I couldn't tell you, but thats deffinetely something to think about. It absolutely makes my skin crawl.



Furthur report. Our 3 year old is home, and as my husband was giving her a bath he noticed bites all over her, she also has a Ginormous bruise on her shoulder that I know wasn't put there by me. Not bites from humans, bites from FLEAS. Now I know for a fact that we don't have fleas, our cats were treated. So now, my husband and I have been bittin by fleas. I have flea bites all up my leg, my husband has them on his arm. AND yes I took pictures! Our 1 year old son had a bite mark on the side of his forehead. You could actually count every tooth. AMAZING! They took little man away because he had a noted bruise on his forehead ONCE a MONTH but foster care can get away with it? WHAT? Ugh, it's insane! I am in no way saying all foster parents are evil, nor am I saying this one is. All it comes down to is, as children, they get bumps and bruises and owies and boo boos. Thats all I have to say about that.

Im so sorry if you feel that we are making all these things up about CPS, they are true, it happens to families all over. I do not have time in my day to make up stories. My day is scheduled by the hour, and is booked full. They have ordered us to have 35 hours of day care a week to provide a "stress" relief, oh and plus our children, who might I say are more sociable than most I have seen, need to socialize with other children. Whenever we have been to the park, or have been to the mall playground our children have acted appropriatly, sharing, playing nicely with the other children. Most the children I have seen there are unruley, rude, and act very inappropriate.


Never ever once have I ever claimed to be a perfect parent, No one is. We all have our flaws, and our moments. The first comment that was ever made to us, and this was when I was pregnant with our twins, was wow..you have way to many kids. WHAT? I don't think we do, we have just the right amount. Why the heck do you think I got my tubes tied? how is it CPS's place to tell me how many children I am allowed to have, and if I can handle that many or not.

Yes, there is always room for suggestion on our parenting, just don't suggest something We've already tried. Give us something new. Don't suggest to my husband to give our little daughter a baby wipe bath, this isn't our first rodeo, we've been through newborn, infant, toddler, preschool, and school age. Give us a suggestion that we can actually grasp, and use that we haven't already. Thats all we asked for. Is that so hard? Or is every suggestion they have common sense?

Please this is all I ask from you, This is my blog, were I come to reflect what is happening in our life. If you don't like my blog don't read it. No one is forcing you to. Don't hound my family because you are sticking up for something you know nothing about. Thank you.

We have our oldest back now, who says cps doesn't just take children because they are mad at you. The judge sent our oldest back to us BECAUSE they didn't have any proof. Hmm, isn't that amazing.

Don't even get me started, CPS does take children away from their parents if they get their authority stepped on by the parents. And by grandparents might I add. To deny is your problem, Our neglect charges were dropped since 3 weeks ago. Thats when they started making things up, and manipulating the system. Please, we are living this, you would have no idea. All I ask for is prayer, not your comments on the courts or cps. I know how they should work, I know maybe not always it's like this. But for us it is.

                                                                  

                                                           My Dearest Children

Please know that mommy and daddy

Will always be here, and you'll always

                                                                 Be in our heart as we

Fight against Good and Evil

Remember, we will always love you.

                                                      

And so it happens, just as I predicted! All of our children were put on protective supervision on monday the 9th of this month. We just got a call from our lawyer stating that tomorrow at 2pm we have a court hearing to have all of our children taken from our house. We have yet to see our son or hear anything about him. We do not abuse or neglect our children. They are taking them because they are pissed off at us. They have targeted us. So now our fight begins. We are again contacting every source of media we can get our hands on.


A special thank you to the certain disgruntled mother in law, May you burn in hell. Pardon my language.

Im not going to blog anymore today, or probably anytime soon because I am just so irritated and pissed off that an organization that is based around

*Update* They just now took all of our children, they ripped our hearts out all because they don't like us. What type of person does that? The cops saw our children and commented on our house and that it's clean, and that our children are clean and appropriate. I about threw up, but I had to stay strong for them. Our oldest were screaming, and our three year old apologized, she said she was sorry. I said goodbyes inside the house because at this point I probably would've done something stupid. Our oldest was screaming and saying she didnt want to go, but I told her she needs to be strong and take care of her brothers and sisters. She dried her tears and helped her sister get her shoes on. Now is our time to fight. My whole family is in tears, and they are the only support we have. Please pray for my children, for I am lost without them.

Wow, My blog must be becoming popular if im already getting hate comments.

My blog is that, MY blog. If you don't like what I write I could frankly care less. It is my space to vent about things that are going on in my life. Yes, I admit I say things I regret saying, or I maybe should have thought through. Am I going to stop venting my feelings because a person doesn't like it....no.

If you believe that giving your child the opportunity to thrive and be independant is abuse, you need help. Yes we have a mildly disabled son, He has problems walking. Am I going to not allow him to walk? He has chores just like the rest of our children. They get rewared after doing said chores. If said chore is not done, said chore will be left to be done. Expecially if it's the play area. If one child helped make the mess, that said child will help clean it up. So next if I say I also made my disabled almost 3 year old child clean up his chip mess, that would be considered abuse too. Or how about this, We make him climb into his highchair because it's good for his leg muscles. Is that abuse also? Or maybe that he crawls up the stairs by himself, thats abuse? Wait I have another one, We make our children sit at the dinner table and wait for everyone to be seated to eat. Is that abuse? Since when did abuse become everything so petty? I thought abuse was beating your children, not providing an adequate home for them, not feeding them. If you want to learn about TRUE abuse read the book a boy called "it" I guess we just have old fashioned values that arn't seen very often anymore.

                                                        

But let me ask you this, if they are so professional why would they have to lie under oath in front of a judge?


Let me also ask you this if said child is mentally unaffected by the said clinical diagnosis and acts and thinks like a 3 year old would we not punish him the same as a normal 3 year old when said child misbehaves, or gets into something, or hits his siblings, or is difiant towards us? Or is sending said child to time out for 3 minutes abuse? Just because he has a clinical diagnosis of being disabled. To learn I need to be enlightened.

                                                       

I am defensive because these are people who don't have children, or don't have as big of a family as we do trying to tell us how to parent our children. Why would I take advice from someone who does't have children? Or someone who doesn't deal with disabled children? or has never had, or taken care of one. I am defensive because they lie. Our caseworker lied under oath, and then when our lawyer pressed her on the amount of time It took her to take him away because we just had a review october 1st and all of his small bruises were noted, why didn't she take him then? Then she looked straight at me and made up that our son has 5 inch v shaped bruises on his legs. Notice the V shape, my name starts with V. She was talking quietly and had to be asked to speak up. She was looking down most of the time.

I have a theory of her maddness. She is jealous. My husband and I are able to stay home and still get 6k a month. She probably had to work, her husband had to work. Im sorry that we get to be home with our children, by the grace of God not many people get that opportunity. But that opportunity has a price. It's just frustrating, and I honestly can't wait for our next hearing. CPS pissed off a lot of people who are on our side by falsifying documents, and emails. Their day will come and until then our lives will remain unaltered.  We love our son, but at this point theres not much we can do until Jan. My parents will ultimetley get him for now. Unless they decide that my parents are the same as us. Pray they will, the thought of our son being in foster care breaks my heart.

                                                              

One word. Liars.

Frustrated. Thats all I can say, and all I can think. Here's to you Little Man.

Second Birthday.

Eating at Mcdonalds.

Cool Dude.

Come Back Home To Us My Sweet Baby Boy.

                                                    

                                                              

CPS

It is 8:13pm and CPS came to our house with two cops to take away our son. So now our son is gone, and they are investigating the rest of our children. They are claiming now that we beat our children because little man had a bruise and cut over his eye. He's two, learning how to walk. He falls down A LOT! They claimed our twins smell and we have never bathed them. I GIVE THEM A BATH EVERY OTHER DAY. Yes, they are going to smell a little, their BABIES! They smelt worse in the hospital! People that were on our side are now against us. We just don't know what to do. MY husband and I have very little fight left in us. We are exaughsted. We took away CPS's validation by not letting them push us around, so now they are taking away ours. My husband just told me that they said my husband doesn't want to give bella a bath because shes a girl. WHEN in fact he doesn't like to give little tiny squirmy babies a bath hes afraid like any other normal man!  So I can guarantee that their next move will be my husband is a little girl molester and thats why he wont give them baths.


I am going to write exactly what the claims are that were sent to a judge.

Caseworker has made visits to the Gerwig home approximately every two weeks as well as the CASA in the case of H.G. On july 27th 2009 Jane Davis noted a bruise under H.G's right eye.* The parents told Jane that he fell while trying to walk up the stairs and fell* On August 4th 2009 H.G had a bruise on his forehead, Jane Davis asked how that happend and the parents said they didn't know* On sept 8th Case worker noticed a scrap over H.G's eyebrow asked how that happend, Parents stated he was again trying to walk up the stairs.* The caseworker asked if we use the babygate and Mr. Gerwig said sometimes. The caseworker asked if we help H.G up and down the stairs, Mr Gerwig said sometimes.* On this occasion Mrs. Gerwig told caseworker to leave house* On October 28th 2009 Bailey Anderson from Help Me Grow made a home visit and noted that the babygate was not in place. Ms. Anderson stated in her casenotes that Mrs. Gerwig and children besides I.G and M.G were asleep.* The twins were sleeping in their carseats. I.G was undressed only in a diaper.* Mr. Gerwig stated that he undressed her because she was hot, and that she had spit up. Ms. Anderson tool I.G out of carseat and noted that she was sticky and smelt like sour milk* Ms. Anderson also noted that I.G's skin was red and irritated.* Ms Anderson said that I.G appered to have not been bathed in several days. Ms Anderson asked Mr.Gerwig how often we bathe the twins, Mr Gerwig stated every other day and I (Mrs. Gerwig) Bathe them because he isn't comfortable bathing I.G because of her gender. On November 4th 2009 Lindsey Elchert wrote an email stating that Mr Rich (maternal Grandfather) told her H.G was trying to walk up the stairs and fell once again and had a little bruise on his forehead. She mentioned to him that the baby gate needs to be up* Other concerns expressed by this agency and other providers, the caseworker has never seen parents hug or kiss H.G Ms Anderson also said that she has only seen us move H.G but have never touched held hugged or kissed him.


First* Hunter only started trying to walk up the stairs after his physical therapist told him it was okay to do so. He never attempted to do it without us there until this, and he knows how to crawl up and down them succesfully.
*We don't know half the bruises our children get, if any parent could say when how and why their children got a certain bruise I would be amazed.
*I take naps too, Im up at 7am most days and by 2 I need a nap.
*Our daughter is going to smell like sour milk after she just got done puking, my husband was waiting for me to get up to bathe her because he doesn't feel comfortable bathing the little ones.
*My dad does not remember anything mentioned about the baby gate, and we don't put it up because of our other children. The only place we have the gate up is when little man is sleeping and thats because he likes to get out at 3 in the morning and play in the bathroom. Now he's in a playpen at night and there is no reason for the gate. We also don't have socket plugs in the walls because our one year old takes them out and puts them in his mouth. But we got yelled at for not having those in.


This is what CPS does, and I know we arn't the only family they are doing this too. I feel sorry for the Judge that ordered this to happen, because he isn't going to be re elected after I get done.

Oh little man..

So, it is almost 3 o clock in the morning and I hear little man upstairs wide awake which he usually is..all night..every night..But this night he was being extremely noisy. So I figure if you want to be up singing banging on walls and the floor distrupting everyone's sleep you can clean up the play area. So here he is.

And I made him use his walker. Which he hates.

Doctors don't seem to believe us, they always say "oh your just over exaggerating" Yeah okay. He hardly if at all sleeps at night, and doesn't take naps. It drives us absolutely bonkers. I know what it's like to have a 1yr old and a 3 yr old running on not much sleep, but little man's attitude throughout the day is horrid. Which is understandable. I just wish they could figure out why he isn't sleeping. If anyone has been through this it would be helpful to share your insight.

*Update*

Now it is 3:45 in the morning and all of our children are awake..YaY!

                                                

Random Pictures.

I thought I would share these random pictures with you since nothing really interesting happend today besides all of us being sick yet again. I have a feeling the is going to be a bad winter for sickly children and mommy.

                                TayTay in a tree. Yes she climbed
                                               it by herself.
                                                      

They are getting so big.

I could have sworn we had 4 kittens.

There she is!!

                                                    

Faith

Faith and what it means to me now







I’m the girl that went to a Catholic school, went to mass twice a week, ever since I was little I remember thinking very logically and the bible they were teaching I had doubts about. For a long time I had lost my faith, yes I was a Christian, was it a big part of my life? Not really. I had a lot of questions, and doubts, and I didn’t feel it was my place to “praise” God in that frame of mind.






When little man was born, and the two month stay in the NICU my thoughts about God changed dramatically. The first 72 hours I prayed and prayed and then prayed some more. I still had questions, but my faith was slowly blossoming. Now, four children later my Faith is stronger. My children pray, as do I. I pray for people I don’t even know.






I had a period of my life that wasn’t so great; I had a lot of problems. I was demonized with all of the medication I was on. Now looking back, I realize that I’m a stronger person now because of that.






Then God sent me my husband and my beautiful children, and I was thinking to myself, yes this is what I’m supposed to be. I was supposed to be a wife and a mother, and spread his word through my children.






We have been through the best, the bad, and the worst. We struggle just as much as everyone else and I believe that because of my Faith it has made things easier to bear. So we have finally started to attend church, when I walked into the church and sat down and started listening, I felt every emotion I have been feeling for years completely life off my shoulders. Like God was saying..Here I’ll help carry the burden for you. It was an amazing feeling.






I just wanted to thank everyone for your prayers, and your kindness. It really does mean a lot to my family. Thank you for taking time out of your lives to read my blog and to learn more about our growing family.






Always remember, The grass is always greener on the other side.
 

                                   

Our newspaper report.

JONATHAN AND VERONICA Gerwig are pictured in their home with their six children. The CPR efforts of the parents, a Findlay police officer and dispatcher are being credited with saving the life of 3-month-old Isabella, who is pictured sitting on her mom’s lap wearing a headband. The Gerwig’s other children are (left to right) Taylor, 3; Michael, 3 months; Hunter, 2; Meredith, 5, and Riley, 1. (Photo by Randy Roberts)


Heres the actual report.

Recent lifesaving efforts praised


By JORDAN CRAVENS
staff writer


What began as a typical Saturday morning for Findlay parents Jonathan and Veronica Gerwig, quickly transformed into a life threatening moment.
As they were loading their six children into their van on Sept. 26, they noticed their 2-month old daughter Isabella stopped breathing.
"She could breath in, but she couldn't breath out," said Jonathan Gerwig.
On first instinct, the child's mother began administering CPR to her infant daughter as her husband dialed 911 and was placed on the line with dispatcher Doreen Roesch.
Roesch was able to help coach Isabella's mother through the process, according to Findlay Police Chief Greg Horne.
She also routed nearby Officer Don Dawson to the family's Imperial Lane home. He arrived before EMS and fire crews and assisted in giving the baby CPR, Horne said.
Both Roesch and Dawson were commended last week by City Council for helping revive Isabella.
"The police officer did a great job when he came. He took her from us and I backed off when he came. He took her to the ambulance and she was fine when she was in the ambulance," Gerwig said.
"The cop said if we didn't do what we were doing, she probably wouldn't have made it," Gerwig said.
When he arrived on scene, Dawson said he did a couple cycles of breaths and compressions to Isabella before the ambulance arrived. He continued CPR while he walked the baby toward the ambulance, he said.
"I heard the baby grunt, her eyes were open and she was getting some redness back in her face," he said.
From there, the baby started crying and the ambulance transported her to the hospital, Dawson said.
"I've done this same thing before on a baby, this is the first one I've seen come through," he said.
Dawson explained that between 97 and 99 percent of people who have CPR done to them don't survive.
He credited the parents for knowing CPR and encouraged others to get trained.
"I think that was the No.1 reason the kid probably lived," Dawson said.
Isabella, who has a twin brother, is at home and doing well, her father said.






One thing, The dispatcher really didn't help. We already knew what we were doing. Which was lost somehow when the credit was being distributed, thats why this reporter wanted us to be credited as well.