Obviously I was born yesterday.

Honestly, What saddens me the most about CPS is the power they have over people. Too much power. They are capable of persuading doctors into saying something completely different than what they told us just to save their own butts. I also didn’t realize that CPS would be capable of insulting us in our own home. I have literally broken down, and this was after I had my twins, and they were in the hospital 200 miles away. I broke down and actually second judged my parenting capabilities. I kept asking myself and my husband am I really what these children need? Do I do enough for them? Do they deserve better. I actually went through a period were I wanted to give little man away because I felt completely inadequate.



I had to get a mental evaluation, after which the physiologist said that he “suggested” more counseling. His reason being we have too many kids, and that’s so stressful. To us, our children aren’t stressful. If God didn’t think we could handle six, I don’t think he would’ve allowed it. Well, We called that same doctor today to clarify whether or not he told CPS I absolutely need counseling. He said that he told me, which he didn’t, That I absolutely need counseling and that I refused. Yes, He suggested counseling and I in turn told him that if I, me no one else, feel that counseling is my very last option I would be willing to do so. We have gone through this with so many doctors, they will tell us one thing, CPS butts in and we are told a completely different story.


The other thing that upsets me about CPS, they do not categorize disabled children differently than “normal” children. Our little man is a head banger and self mutilator. Yes we try to stop it as often as we notice he’s doing it. But because he is this way it’s our fault. Or excuse me MY fault, because I control everything that happens. The courts won’t help us, we’ve tried that. Our doctor has written letters to them all the time, they disregard them. I have heard many stories about CPS getting involved with families who have disabled children and every time I do I get so furious. I understand that I probably shouldn’t have acted the way I did today and I made it more of a reason for them to stick around. But honestly I cannot just sit there and smile and be insulted. I’m not that type of person. Yes, I do control most of the house; I’m the one that cleans cooks takes care of kids and make sure bills are paid. My husband is a retired Marine, he’s a man of very few words, but the words he does have are most definitely not influenced by anything I say.


Ah yes, the wedding reception. It was so very nice to get out of the house and be around supportive people. I went, and took our two oldest and they had an absolute blast. The reception was actually the same exact place were my Husband and I did the “official” wedding. Our daughters remembered and it was just absolutely beautiful. I love going to weddings. To me it’s very empowering to witness two people completely in love finally saying their vows, forever embracing each other. TayTay went up to the Bride and said she looks like a princess, and that she wants to be one too when she’s older. I thought that was simply adorable, and I supposed she felt the same way.

I hope to have some newer pictures to post for tomorrow, if I can muster up enough energy.Again I hope everyone has a wonderful evening and a safe weekend.